Fear Isn’t the Problem—Avoiding It Is

Fear Happens

Fear is a natural part of life. It shows up when we face new challenges, take risks, or try something that pushes us out of our comfort zone.

But fear itself isn’t the real issue. The real problem starts when we avoid it.

Avoiding fear leads to burnout, poor decision-making, and feeling stuck. The more we dodge fear, the more power it has over us.

Fear doesn’t disappear when we let it take the wheel. It starts to fade when we name it, face it, and choose to keep going anyway.

What Avoiding Fear Looks Like

When we avoid fear, we don’t just freeze—we compensate. We might:

• Say yes when we mean no
• Overwork to prove our worth
• Stay quiet instead of speaking up
• Stick with what’s safe instead of what’s right

These habits chip away at our energy and confidence. Over time, we become more reactive and less clear. That’s when leadership starts to feel like a grind instead of a choice.

What Facing Fear Actually Means

Facing fear doesn’t mean “conquer it and move on.” It means you stop running from it.

You learn to notice it, get curious about it, and act in spite of it.

Try this:

• Name it: What am I afraid of? Rejection? Failing? Looking silly?
• Challenge it: Is the fear actually true—or just loud?
• Do one small thing: You don’t need to leap. Just take one step.
• Get support: Talk it out with someone who won’t try to fix it.
• Reflect: What did fear teach you? Where did it point you?

Fear is often just information—a sign that something matters, or that growth is nearby.

Real Talk: Fear in Leadership

Leaders avoid fear in sneaky ways. They stay “busy.” They obsess over proving themselves.

It looks productive on the outside, but it feels exhausting.

Facing fear as a leader means being honest about what’s driving your choices.

Are you leading from trust—or from panic? From confidence—or from control?

If you liked Leadership Isn’t One Size Fits All, you already know: alignment doesn’t happen when you fake it. It happens when you stop pretending.

Curious how fear shows up in different leadership styles? Check out Leadership by Design.

Fear vs. Burnout

Burnout doesn’t just come from doing too much. It comes from constantly avoiding what you’re afraid to face.

• Fear of saying no → overcommitment
• Fear of slowing down → chronic urgency
• Fear of being seen → self-sabotage

Avoiding fear is more exhausting than feeling it.

Want to recover from burnout? Start by asking what fear you’ve been avoiding.

Learn more about the link between burnout and emotional health in this APA article.

The Link Between Fear + Self-Care

Most people think self-care is about bubble baths and vacation days. But real self-care is about giving your nervous system a break from panic-mode.

According to research from the American Psychological Association (APA), people who regularly rest, reflect, and ask for help handle stress better and feel more emotionally resilient.

When you slow down enough to feel what’s really going on—that’s the moment fear starts to loosen its grip.

Fear Isn’t Weakness

Let’s just say it: Being afraid doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human.

Fear shows up when something matters. The trick isn’t to kill it. The trick is to learn from it.

Leaders who learn to sit with fear don’t just survive challenges—they lead with clarity and presence.

If you want to see what that looks like in action, explore more leadership tips on the blog.

Try This

Next time fear shows up, fill in this sentence:

“When I avoid ______, I block my ability to ______, and I miss out on ______.”

Example:

“When I avoid tough conversations, I block my ability to lead clearly, and I miss out on real connection.”

This kind of self-awareness isn’t soft. It's called your Strategy.

Final Word

Fear isn’t the enemy. Avoiding it is.

If you want to lead with energy and clarity, don’t wait until the fear is gone. 

Take it with you.

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